hoping for a great future

the reasons why I am miserable today that missing 2 trains doesnt even bother me: 

1. felt lonely and neglected. 
2. hating my own toxic self.
3. made a bad decision. 
4. had to stop reading at the highest plot of my novel. 
5. got disrespected and depreciated at work. cried.
6. got disrespected and depreciated at work. its not a mistake, this deserves 2 spots. 
7. missing my old boss. so much that i talked to Allah abt him. 
8. feeling insecure and stuck. 
9. my lunch came late. 
10. lost my touch and go card exiting the station. (calmly paid cash for the trip and bought a new one). 
11. israel is still killing people, f them

despite, the things i am grateful for today, Alhamdulillah: 

1. waking up. 
2. great weather. 
3. my 2 supportive colleagues.
4. the air. 
5. the suprisingly existing cash i had. 
6. pikmin game. i got to do thousand steps. 
7. its hanbin’s birthday. he replied to me always. 
8. a supporting person who always accept me when i'm the shittiest. 
9. my nearly exploding still sane brain. 
10. the internet for me to apply for new jobs. tens of. 
11. the sweet plot of the novel. they got married. 
12. a seat in the train. 
13. red bean
14. my parents picking me up after work. 
15. paying for my family’s dinner. 
16. got a home to go back to and cry myself to sleep.
17. Allah for taking care of me always. 
18. and so many more...its infinity. 

you know what, even if Allah tested you a little that day, He will never leave you crumble alone and will always catch you before you completely fall. You’re still perfectly protected by him. just like how Allah let me have some cash in my hand today. which i usually dont.

i hope your day was not as miserable as mine and may it always be blessed and beautifully crafted by Allah.

and mine too. In Shaa' Allah this is what Allah wants me to win from (but its hard..). please pray for me and may Allah pour it back to you. 

the book im currently reading: 

As long as the lemon trees grow by Zoulfa Katouh. 

9/10 recommended