ugg. ly.

The line was long. great. The prompt says the train is arriving in 0 mins, but there’s no train to be found. I wonder if that prompt was only just numbers. Don't let me start on how simple and wasted their displays are, like every single system in this country, ugly and wasted. What do i mean by waste? they could've used the advance technology to make it more informative, useful, and atleast have a decent interface. But no, all they did was a “campaign” to future technologies with 0 applications nothing. Disappointed but not shocked. 

The mrt was packed, no not like sardine tins, worse than that. Our nose was just a dot away from the exit door. The awkwardness when the door opens to a line of people outside is the worst. I just stand still, head down, embarrassed cause going to the office is for losers (sorry). Still, people push through, “excuse me”, she said with a loud and annoyingly confident tone. “Excuse who? we are stuck here maam we dont even have any excuses to give you right now ugh” i replied only in my head. 

To be honest it was a rough start of the day, i woke up with the remaining anger i had yesterday, i felt insulted, im on my period, my face is not at the clearest state, plus all the negative emotion storms I have, everything’s wrong that the reflection of myself from the train’s door was my last straw. UGH IM UGLY. Inside and out. I hate myself so much I understand why people dont like me. 

I forced myself to smile bcs ugly face is uglier without a smile and i cant afford to be uglier. 

I remembered the dj from the radio i heard ALSO this morning, Allah was clearly pointing it to only me, “We have to forgive people”, fine. i will. it doesnt make my mood better the next second but it does calm me down a little. Maybe Allah will change my day. 

Please pray for me. I hope atleast Allah love me. 

I have to start counting my blessings seriously people had worst and do some zikir to calm me down, im not going anywhere with this mood. Haaa. I pray for every one to have a great day today and every day.